


Dead but not Gone

by Itsuey



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-02-03
Updated: 2012-02-03
Packaged: 2017-10-30 12:56:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/331957
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsuey/pseuds/Itsuey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>F1 Slash Kink fill; "Fernando thinks back to Robert's accident 10 years after the event. What happened in the intervening years? As angsty as you like ;)"</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dead but not Gone

It had been several years since he'd been here; five to be precise. He'd announced his intention to retire the moment his Ferrari contract ran out here. It had been the promised land which never delivered, and after 7 years of increasingly disappointing results he'd had enough. He'd known his time was coming soon as one by one the men he raced alongside were replaced by younger and younger drivers until his only remaining friend on the grid was Robert. Although, Robert hadn't been much of a friend towards him by the end. 

Fernando sighed and leant against the pit wall barrier as he watched a streak of red roar past him, screaming around the corner and disappearing from his sight. Robert. The crash had changed him beyond anything the medics had been able to predict; after seeing what had happened to Felipe after his accident, Robert had been determined the same would not happen to him, he had to show them he was still perfectly capable of winning races, of being the successful driver he was before his rallying incident. 

The poker games had been the first to stop; suddenly Robert had no time for frivolous card games when he should be going over the telemetary and looking for those few hundredths he knew were there somewhere until even his engineers told him he was being obsessive. Obsessive was the correct word; he ignored everything else that would interfere with his racing. His girlfriend gave up and left him and he pretended not to care. His race engineer quit, unable to stand the pressure Robert was putting him under and it took three more until they found him someone who could take the harsh criticism when something didn't go right. 

Somewhere up in the stands he heard his name being called, but he didn't have the energy to look up, wasn't sure he could stand to see what was left of his fans, not after he'd let them down so badly. Not when he knew that the Grand Prix, usually dominated with Spanish flags, would now be a seething mass of red and white. 

Robert's persiverance had paid off; Renault had four more championships to its name, one from Vitaly and three from Robert himself who currently had five to his name. Not even Red Bull, who had been the ones to destroy Fernando's dreams, could keep up with the new king of Ferrari. They'd found their new Michael Schumacher and he was delivering for them. 

The sound of an engine passing close by him made him jump slightly and he opened his eyes to see the Ferrari pull up into the garage, the scarlet paint once so dear to him now chased a shudder up his spine as he watched Robert's graceful form uncurl from the cockpit. He pulled his helmet off as he turned around and for the briefest second they made eye contact. 

The sheer emptiness of Robert's eyes made his own well up with tears, but he couldn't look away, the moment streched on for an eternity in which almost every memory he had of the other man flashed through his mind as he remembered Robert's gleeful smile after a good race, or his joyous gloating after he won every single one of their poker matches, he even remembered the Pole rubbing his back as he hunched over the toilet at three in the morning with food poisioning which had kept him out of the car for a week, until the other man nodded curtly and turned back to his engineers and he could release the breath he hadn't realised he'd been holding.

And suddenly there was nothing left for him here. All his friends had moved on, even Michael, who many thought would never go, had eventually decided enough was enough. But Robert hadn't. Robert hadn't left or gone anywhere, he was still there, still contactable, still touchable, but to Fernando, the man he had loved as his brother had died and he couldn't say goodbye.


End file.
